Quote of the weekend, "I haven't died yet"

What an amazing weekend we have had here in sunny, thunderstorming France. The last guests depart today. It has been 7 hours since i completed my 5 day drinking mission and i am just starting to shake now.

Where do i begin?

At this point i have had to ask Angela to carry on typing as my hands are shaking too much.

The Danes arrived on Thursday lunch time and the party started there. First erection of the weekend was a small blue one belonging to two hunky Danes, some old (but virile says Mo) people, in the shape of a tent. The older Danish generation moved into the part-finished Gite, grout still drying in the bathrooms, but starting to take shape (the Gite that is).

Bed-making/hopping and arguments over duvets etc. started here and continued for a number of days.

Next through the gates were Irene and Ewan in a big white van, full to the brim with furniture and hog-roasting kit, including a brand spanking new bespoke hog roaster thingy, which during the course of the weekend was lovingly buffed (mostly by the male-folk, who love to buff hard shiny thingys). The sacrificed animal was locally sourced (but not home grown) and was picked up and taken to its final resting place (on a spit, or I guess, technically on a platter) by Jane and Ewan in the white van, who arrived back swinging a bag full of offal, which was used to frighten the children with.

Thursday evening was a quiet family evening, Roast Pork al fresco.

Friday saw the Danish labourers start work, far cheaper than the Polish ones we usually use. The Boys attacked 8 tonnes of aggregate, filling the holes and levelling the ground outside the gite. Linda went on mop and bucket duty, tidying up the mess we had left behind in pretty much every room of every building.

Hot-foot from the Chunnel came Rob, Nigel, Grandma Mo, Adam, Hollie, the first of the Friday arrivals.

Sabrina, James and Kris arrived, taking residence in a local B&B.

Running races down the drive. Sabrina tried to gain an advantage by surfing on her knees and elbows, but Fweggggy pipped her to the post (although technically Vicky and Jane won, as they got to the finishing line first).

Mark and Michelle pulled up on the Friday night, screeching in to the drive in 'mid-life crisis' (the car).

Steve and Laura managed not to miss the ferry,

Fweggggy managed to lose his trousers during an unprevoked attack from Steve which resulted in a comedy like chase involving fence hurdling, jumping down hills and hiding in long grass. Although in the previous nights racing Fweggy had demonstrate immence speed, he was no match for the lightening fast speed of Steve. Over the weekend we also managed to lure Fweggy into numerous challenges, his 40 second yard of ale being his greatest achievement.

Angela, Nick, Annelies, Lena and Evangeline arrived at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning, hideously sleep deprived, but raring to put up their retro-tent for their second ever attempt at camping. There was no sign of life when they arrived, owing to the previous night's excesses, but Kirsty and Hollie opened the fort and Jane (who had never put clothes on so fast in her life) and Andrew soon appeared to crack open the first beer of the morning (it was 7.30am).

Jamie and Laura arrived with a car full of goodies - CostCo's sales have never been so good! The children had never ever seen such big bucketfuls of sweets (which were then mostly consumed by the adults, who all had the post-alcohol munchies).

The second suite in the Gite was taken by Kaye, Mike and Tony who arrived next. Kaye's highlight of the weekend was straddling Nell the donkey, after one or two glasses of Kir (Kaye that is), who didn't quite know what had hit her. Angela drew the line at putting Annelies on there with her, wanting to avoid Nell doing an impression of a bucking bronco!

Mike, Gordy, Jeanine and Jean, finally a chance to play some softball. Jean was an unexpeted arrival and it was really great to see her this year.

Dermot, Anna-Maria and Lajla who are now living down the road from us, well about an hour away, had already put in some great efforts over the last few weeks, assisting with tiling grouting and genrally helping us to clean up and get the place habitable. Thanks sooooo much for your help guys.

Glyn and Debbie were almost arrested by the local gendarmes after parking their car on the blind corner of a junction for over 2 hours. Fortunately for us, the reason for this event was that Uncle Glyn, in his usual well organised fashion, was painting us a fabulous picture of the house which has been greatly admired by everyone.

It was great to see Ian and Melanie, who were not sure if they were going to be able to make it over this time. Aunty Melanie, my hero, brought home made scones and clotted cream. These were a joy to consume last night when numbers were down to 15.

The record for bodies in the barrel would have been broken if Kirsty hadn't needed to go to the loo just at the wrong moment!

Who needs to go on a snipe hunt when you can go rat-shooting with Rob?! Nigel has insisted that the ammunition is all wrong. Apparently you cant shoot rats with smooth flat headed bullets.

Anyhow, more to come soon as i really need to take some time out and have a kip. Thanks to everyone for coming, helping out, contributing etc.etc.etc. More to come tomorrow.