What can you do with a log?

First find a log in your valley.

Then find three men, a woman and a towing vehicle.

Try to pull the log out of the valley whilst avoiding looking at the woman who is there for pure aesthetics!!!!!

Then leave the log in the middle of the drive for a day.

The following day take a small trial slice of the log and determine the type of wood.

Burr Ash??? Perhaps??

Decide that it is nice wood and consider taking a slice from the log and making a table.

Make lots of noise with a chainsaw, make arms ache lots and then resort to the two man saw!!

Make lots of sawdust.

Abuse wife and three children by making them saw with two man saw.

Decide that making a table will take too long, too much planing and too much sandpaper!

Leave log for another night whilst deciding what to do next.

The next day have another look at log and decide to finish slice with chainsaw.

Make even more sawdust.

Look at slice and decide that rest of log may look very nice as a bench with first slice as the backrest.

Ask wife where she thinks the bench would look best and plan how to move it there.

Stand back and then consider making another slice from the log for a worktop.

Make some more sawdust.

Take an hour and a half to take slice for the worktop.

Use chainsaw in as many different angles as possible to make sawing easier.

Poke with a stick occasionally to see if chainsaw is cutting through the log correctly.

Make an even bigger pile of sawdust.

Then tell wife that worktop has to be put into storage for at least two years as wood must dry first.

Put worktop on sack barrow, strap on well and move!!

Decide that other parts can still be a very useful bench and leave on drive until further plans can be made!!!

TO BE CONTINUED ..............................................